As I write this, fireworks are booming all around me.
Outside my house it seems as though every single neighbor is lighting up the skies with patriotic noise and fire.
In my late 20s, I lived and worked for a couple of years in Northern Virginia. I managed a coffeehouse and live music venue. Without traffic, I could make it home to Mom and Dad's house in 2 hours. But since I lived in the DC suburbs, there was almost always traffic. This was especially true during the summer holidays, when everybody in the DC corridor would decide to vacation on one of Maryland's or Delaware's beaches. Since there was only one way to get to the beach--across the Chesapeake Bridge--my drive home could take anywhere between 3 hours to 5 hours.
But I always made the trip home because I loved being with my family on the summer holidays, especially on the 4th of July. One of my sisters lived on a huge farm at the time. Everyone in my immediate family would come for the gathering. An aunt or uncle (and their family) would make the trip. Sometimes a few of my family's friend's joined us. My brother in law would grill chicken or burgers. My sister or I would make potato salad and baked beans. Somebody would make one of those dessert casseroles that involved Jell-O and Cool Whip. We'd eat. Toss horseshoes. Swim in the Chesapeake. Sometimes we'd go tubing. And usually the evening ended with a highly competitive game of volleyball.
And occasionally, after the volleyball game, there'd be fireworks. I’m not a huge fan of fireworks. I can appreciate their splendor to some degree. But I think they’re loud and overrated most of the time.
Our family gatherings weren't anything too unique. But then again, they were special to me because they involved people I loved, laughter and conversations, the retelling stories I’d heard a thousand times, and good fun that I loved and looked forward to experiencing every single year.
For some reason, perhaps because I spent the 4th alone (Jessica and the kids have been on vacation for the last week or so), I spent some time thinking about my family and about those old 4th of July gatherings.
And I grieved. I grieved not being able to call them. I grieved thinking about them being all together on the 4th of July.
And I grieved the fireworks that happened in May.
I've grieved those May fireworks a lot this summer.
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